I saw this photo somewhere on the internet and had to laugh. I’ve had anxiety issues for a while and after going to a therapist through high school, we decided in college that I would start taking Lexapro. It felt like a weight was lifted when I started, and I felt so much more confident in school. I excelled in my major, made life-long friends, and starting dating my husband at this time. Without that confidence I may have been held back from some of these things. I tried a couple times to stop taking it, but I always returned because I just got too anxious, with some panic attacks and self doubt. It’s amazing what 10mg of that little pill will do to improve things. I’m not a huge fan of pharmaceutical companies and the money making machine that it is, but I tell you what, I live a better life because of Lexapro.
And that’s what really scared me when I got pregnant. As excited as I was about having a baby, a lot of worries come with that too. I managed to stop taking the meds during my entire pregnancy, and was just fine (although I ended up with high blood pressure, which I think has a lot to do with my nerves). But when Jack was born 6 weeks early, I had some issues. I cried every day he was in the NICU. I was worried about him, sad that I wasn’t pregnant anymore and just overwhelmed. I know this is common postpartum behavior, especially for the mom of a preemie, so I gave it two months. Each time I took the Edinburgh Depression quiz, my score got worse. After consulting with my mid-wife, primary care physician and pediatrician we decided that it was safe to take a low dose of Lexapro. The consensus was that my well-being was better for Jack. I am still nursing, but looking at the studies of the safety of Lexapro there is a low chance of side-effects while breastfeeding.
I’m so happy that I can continue to give Jack breast milk. Before I knew I could take the Lexapro I was worried that I’d have to stop feeding him sooner and move over to formula, which I really hated to do. I just knew that I couldn’t be the best mom possible while putting so much pressure on myself and the Ginger, and ultimately, Jack. I was constantly upset that the house was a mess, noticing stupid things like that the baseboards need painted. I was worrying that Jack wasn’t hitting milestones and that we were doing everything wrong.
I feel more relaxed now and am spending so much more time just sitting in the nursery holding Jack…and letting the dishes and laundry pile up. I actually ran out of pants the other day and was happy to just wear leggings and continue to hold Jack for the rest of the day. He’s getting so big so fast and I want to enjoy him rather than worry about everything under the sun.
I found this article very encouraging while researching what to do with breastfeeding and taking an anti-anxiety medication.
No comments:
Post a Comment