THIS MOMENT

He’s not loving it yet, but he is sitting in his Bumbo seat! Look at those neck muscles holding up that big noggin!

WHY I WORK

Since going back to work I have been really upset about leaving Jack. We’ve got a small army taking care of him…the Ginger (who is not babysitting his own child because it’s ridiculous when people say that about a dad), the Ginger’s parents, and my parents, especially my mom. My mom has been amazing coming over to my house every Monday and Tuesday (and other random days when I take a freelance job) after working an overnight shift to watch Jack so that I can sleep.

I appreciate this so much, and honestly feel so guilty.

I want to be the one there with him and just have our family watch Jack when the Ginger and I want to go on a date. But financially, and mentally, that’s not possible. I need to work. 

This month has been the toughest so far. I have a lot of freelancing gigs that I confirmed before I realized that I probably wasn’t ready to work this much. The thing about freelancing is that the more work you turn down, the less work you get. And I really don’t want to flake out on any jobs because chances are I won’t get the opportunity to do them when I feel better. So I’ve been working like a crazy person…16+ hour days,sometimes 7 days a week. I’ve been trying to stay awake when I’m at home to spend some time with Jack, but that means I’m getting like 4 hours of sleep a day, if that. It’s rough, to say the least. 

But this post isn’t about complaining. I got an email tonight that confirmed why I’m doing it. I started training at the beginning of the month on a new position for a freelance job and tonight was my first time solo. 

To put it modestly, I killed it. Ha! It was a great night, and I really like the position. There was one tiny mistake that probably no one watching the show noticed and other than that it was spot on. I got an email from the producer complimenting me on a great job, and continued on to say that I’m a great asset to the production. It made me feel good.

And it made me realize that I’m working these long days and taking every job I get offered because I am moving my career forward. I want to provide for Jack. A constantly advancing career will provide stability for our family and is leading us to a debt-free life.

It gets so hard sometimes. When I got to my full-time job tonight after working the freelance job all evening and stopping home to see Jack for an hour, I just cried. I got so overwhelmed, but then I checked my email and saw those great words of encouragement.

It’s worth it.

I’m providing financially for Jack. I’m teaching him work ethic, as well as being a strong female role model. Plus, he gets to spend time with other people who love him too. Right now things might be hard, but as my postpartum emotions level out, and once I understand this new mom/work schedule, it will get easier. 

That said, I am happily off for the next two days and I plan on doing nothing but cuddle Jack and the Ginger. And even with all the work, I still get smiles like this from Jack! 

THIS MOMENT:

Rambo watching Jack. Jack watching Rambo’s tail.

GIRLS NIGHT: PAINTING

I’m slowly figuring out our new “normal”, fitting our old life into this new life with a baby. It’s certainly taking time to make it all work and I suspect it will keep changing, but no matter what I know that I need to be sure I’m giving myself some time to just be with friends. As much as I want to spend every minute with Jack, I need to have some baby-free time, outside of work. 

Last week my friends invited me out to a Corks and Canvas event at Kiln N Time in Lawrenceville. I’ve heard all about these painting nights on Instagram and Facebook, and I was eager to go to one myself! 

I was a bit intimidated about painting, but it turned out to be so easy and fun! Our instructor explained the painting step by step and we just followed along, attempting our own works of art. I know it’s a bit cheesy having a Pittsburgh version of Van Gogh but I really love it and the Ginger said he’d hang it in his office at work! 

It was so relaxing to have a glass of Sweet Red wine, hang out with friends and pretend that I can paint. I can’t wait to go back again. Next time I’m taking my mom and sister! It also inspired me to start a Pinterest craft night. Hopefully once a month my friends and I will work on a craft that we’ve pinned. 

THIS MOMENT:

It doesn’t happen every tummy time, but Jack is pushing up on his arms!

THIS WEEK I:

Watched: House of Cards…better late than never!

Listened: to what we think is the start of laughing from my son

Learned: I’m working too much…as usual.

Ate: five days of the Food Babe’s meal plan

Read: a book about baby-led weaning

Drank: lots of freshly pressed green juice

Thought: about my health a lot 

Wished: I could figure out how to make my schedule work

Realized: that 26 might be my favourite age so far 

Bought: my groceries online and picked them up curbside!

OSCAR NIGHT

Our best-dressed little Oscar winner.